


Shave and a Haircut - 2 Bits

by anarchycox



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Feels, M/M, Porn with Feelings, bringing merhartwin together, i guess, instead you have to wait until chapter 3 for the sex, look this was meant to be all just sex, merlin with a beard, post the golden circle, quasi fix it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-18 17:00:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12392295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: After the events at Poppyland Merlin remains with the Statesmen to recover from his injuries and learn to use his prosthetic legs. Harry and Eggsy agree to return to England to rebuild the Kingsman. Eggsy and Tilde and no longer together (after a respectful breakup where they are still friends) and through phone calls, Harry and Merlin who had always been secretly together, and Eggsy all agree to embark on a relationship when reunited.After 4 months Harry and Eggsy return to Statesmen to collect their Merlin only to be in utter shock of the Merlin they find - casually dressed, and with a full salt and pepper beard.Harry and Eggsy have very different reactions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻譯】Shave and a Haircut - 2 Bits](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12441969) by [sandykill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandykill/pseuds/sandykill)



> One photo of Mark Strong created the desire to write this story. And then of course I cannot write just up and up porn, so here we go. two chapters of feels and then all the smut.  
> Picture is at the top of the story to provide context.

 

“Harry?”

Harry didn’t look up from his paperwork. “Yes?”

“Why won’t Merlin video chat with us?”

“I’m sorry?” Harry finally looked up. “He chats with us.”

“Emails, phone calls, but no skype, no seeing him. That ain’t right is it?” Eggsy was moving around the office that Harry had put together in the house they were renting and trying to rebuild the Kingsman from.  “We saw him before we left and he looked like shit, not like he would have gotten worse.”

“He dislikes people when he is healing,” Harry answered after a little bit.

Eggsy glared a little. “This isn’t the flu or a knife wound. He’s kind of missing his legs. And we could take care of him.”

“Not like the Statesmen are,” Harry countered. “Ginger and her team are taking good care of him.”

“Whiskey,” Eggsy corrected. “And sure we get the reports, he is up on his new custom legs and he says it is going well...but he won’t let me see him.” Eggsy was frustrated and hurt. “Why doesn’t he want to see me?”

Harry put down his papers. “I would imagine he doesn’t know just how much this matters to you. While he knows you and Tilde are no longer together, and that we are the three of us moving forward as a romantic unit, does he know that you are truly over the relationship? Have you told him what actually happened there?”

Eggsy flushed red. “Wot, you mean Roxy surviving her blast and going to Tilde when she couldn’t reach us and them falling stupid in love once Tilde was safe?”

“I know it hurt,” Harry said.

“Yeah,” he agreed. Eggsy sat on the couch and slouched down. “But it were right to let go. They’re happy in a way we were always trying to force. And yeah maybe I haven’t made it clear enough to Merlin that there are no lingering feelings there, beyond friendship.”

Harry slid down the couch and put his arm around Eggsy. Kissed his head. “3 weeks and we see him again.”

“Tilde and I talked a couple days ago,” Eggsy said. 

“Oh?”

“She asked why I hadn’t told Merlin how I feel.” Eggsy looked at Harry. “She always knew that I had ‘lingering and complicated’ feelings for you, and guess I called Merlin a sexy bastard a few times while a wee bit tipsy.”

Harry laughed a little. “And how do you feel about Merlin beyond being a sexy bastard?”

“He’s Merlin,” Eggsy said helplessly.

“A sentiment I well understand. And agree with.” Harry pulled Eggsy’s legs into his lap. He sighed a little. “I miss his face too. I forgot it for months and I had it back, and then I didn’t.”

“So you’ve noticed it too, then,” Eggsy said.

“I have,” Harry admitted. “He could be jealous?”

“Of you and me? We’ve been working not like we’ve done anything.” Eggsy snuggled into Harry. “Wanted it to, but we haven’t. Not without him.”

“Fuck I miss his cock,” Harry said abruptly.

“Harry!”

“It’s bloody perfect,” Harry protested. “Long like his legs.”

“Had one decon shower with him, maybe took a peak,” Eggsy grinned.

“I had photos in the house, in the attic.”

Eggsy thought about it. “Wait, Tilde went up there once, her fucking batteries died in her vibe that week.”

“I am glad we brought her pleasure,” Harry said dryly.

Eggsy was quiet. “I miss him.”

“Shall we call him?” Harry suggested, missing Merlin as well.

“Yeah,” Eggsy reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He dialed Merlin and frowned when a woman answered. “Hello? This is Eggsy.”

She giggled a bit. “He of the sweet bum?”

“What the hell?” Eggsy quickly put it on speaker. “Where’s Merlin?”

“Having a nap,” she said. “There was a slight miscalculation in his pain medication and it made him a little...open? And then Agent Whiskey quickly sedated him.”

“Why pain meds?” Harry asked, leaning forward.

“He over did it on the track. Raced down Agent Tequila. Surprised he didn’t overheat with the new look.”

“New look?” Eggsy asked.

“He doesn’t want you gentlemen to know until you arrive.”

“Thank you,” Harry said and ended the call. He smiled. “He’s grown out his hair a little and wants it to be a surprise. He knows I love that look.”

“So what now?”

“Now we work hard and talk to him when we can and see him in three weeks. And we discuss what the three of us want.”

“I was thinking we try that happy ever after shit?” Eggsy suggested. "Roxy and Tilde said there is a lot to recommend it."

“It sounds like a good idea. We shall see what the greatest grump in the Isles says,” Harry kissed Eggsy. “Come now, the Berlin office sent some useful aid finally.”

“Can’t believe Poppy missed them,” Eggsy said.

“Super villains, Eggsy, the plans are so big they always forget something.”

“I hope Merlin is okay,” Eggsy snuggled closer.

“As you said before, he’s Merlin.”

*********************************************

“Hey boys,” Tequila greeted them at the door and there was something wrong about his smile.

“Why are you looking at us like that?” Eggsy asked.

“Just can’t wait to see your reaction,” Tequila grinned. “Come on, we moved him around a bunch, he is really grumpy about proper back support in his bed.”

“You have no idea,” Harry agreed. They followed Tequila and it was clear that the agent was delaying them. “Would you please take us to Merlin’s room before we make you?”

“Came out ahead on Eggsy before, don’t see that I wouldn’t again, but sure,” Tequila took them down a few halls and then bowed low. “His room.”

Eggsy didn’t knock just bolted in. “He ain’t even here!” He raised his arm and pointed his watch at Tequila. “What the fuck?”

Tequila bounced in his heels. “You said his room, not him. He’s out in the pen. He’s going to have problems in London. Gotten used to horses.”

Harry paled and then flushed just a little. “Horses?” It came out as a squeak. He cleared his throat. “Is that a part of his therapy regimen?”

“Dunno, just know he likes it.” Tequila’s smirk made the two men want to punch him. “Everyone else is appreciating it too.”

“Tequila!” Whiskey shouted at the door. “Will you stop? You know how anxious Merlin has been for their arrival. You are in so much trouble later.” 

Eggsy giggled a bit at how abashed Tequila looked. Tequila kicked him in the ankle and soon they were scrapping like puppies.

Harry and Whiskey both sighed a little. Harry stepped over the rolling bodies. “How is he?”

“Excited to see you,” she said immediately. “Healing well. He’s still having some phantom pains, but it’s been four months and he’s adjusted well. Barring over exertion, is down to just some over the counter drugs for pain. He needs regular massages at the ends of his legs, they seem to help him. He can go home whenever he wants.” At this Whiskey looked down at her data pad. “Though we will all regret losing him.”

“I know he cares greatly about the friendship he has built with you, and you are always more than welcome in our home,” Harry was quite in earnest.

Whiskey laughed a little. “Not quite what I meant.”

“She means everyone is going to regret losing all the jerk off fantasy material he’s given everyone here. Ow!” Tequila had lost the advantage over Eggsy with talking and Eggsy was pummeling him with a pillow.

“Come along Eggsy,” Harry said. “You can have a play date with Tequila later, we have a man to claim.”

“Right. Bye!” Eggsy waved like a dork, and Tequila followed suit. He then realized he really didn’t want to miss this and quickly followed the group.

“Why you look all twitterpated when they mentioned horses?” Eggsy whispered to Harry.

“Because,” Harry said shortly.

“Merlin is a good rider,” Whiskey explained. “He has a long history of riding and we made it a part of his therapy program. It took a while to adjust with the new legs, but he did. He seems...content when seated.”

Eggsy put an image of Merlin in his plaid jacket on a horse in his mind, but it was hazy, he couldn’t quite picture it. But it was clear that Harry was, and was enjoying the idea at that. So Eggsy figured it had to be good. They went back outside and around the back. There were a group of at least 10 people just watching the horse pen.

“So what type of riding does he do Harry?” Eggsy asked as they approached. “All formal jumping shit, racing?”

“He does whatever amuses,” Harry said. They made it to the fence. “Where is he?” He looked around, everyone was staring at an empty pen.

A woman in a lab coat grinned at him. “Wait for it.” Eventually they all hear a thunder of hooves and the small crowd got all hyped up. 

Eggsy looked at Whiskey who was trying to be uninterested and Tequila was doing that smirk again.

“I’m not the view you want, pal, no matter how pretty I am,” Tequila said.

“Your neck is too big for your head,” Eggsy made a face but turned back to where the noise was coming from. He looked at the man on the horse, cowboy hat, plaid shirt, worn jeans. “Jesus another trick? Thought we were seeing Merlin.” The guy had a full beard, thick, dark and with streaks of silver in it. “Who’s he then?”

Harry moaned. 

“Harry?” Eggsy looked at him in confusion.

Harry was just cursing under his breath and muttering  _ don’t jump him, don’t jump him, don’t jump him _ . But he seemed not to be paying attention to himself as within 10 seconds Harry was climbing the fence. Eggsy watched the rider stop and carefully dismount.

“That is getting really smooth,” Whiskey said.

“Oh ain’t nothing smooth about Merlin,” Tequila joked.

“Merlin?” Eggsy stared at the man with the beard. “That’s not Merlin. That’s like some moonshine mountain man you guys found.” Harry had reached the man and knocked off the cowboy hat with how hard he pulled the man in and began to kiss him.

The crowd whistled and clapped.

Harry didn’t stop kissing.

“Going to need a lot of lotion to deal with that beard burn,” Whiskey said making a note on her pad.

“Nah, was scruffy at the beginning but in real smooth and soft now,” Tequila said.

“Do I want to know how you know that?” Whiskey asked sharply.

Tequila grinned. “A gentleman doesn’t reveal secrets.” 

“So you pet it that night you two had a few too many drinks and sang the entirety of Live at Folsom.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tequila agreed.

Whiskey shook her head in exasperation.

Eggsy watched Harry try to devour the man. “Wait...that’s Merlin?”

“Yeah it is,” Tequila rocked on his feet, well pleased with the shock on Eggsy’s face. “He, uh, embraced his country desires while healing.”

“Looks like Harry is embracing those desires now as well,” Whiskey joked. She clapped her hands. “Show’s over everyone, back to work, let’s give the gentlemen some privacy.”

The crowd slowly dispersed, some actually whimpering at losing the sight of the men kissing. Eventually it was just Harry, Merlin, and Eggsy left by the pen. Harry kept touching Merlin’s face and kissing him.

“Hamish,” Harry said just loud enough that Eggsy caught it. “I need you,” he whined.

“I need ye too, Harry,” Merlin replied. He nuzzled the beard against Harry’s neck and Harry’s knees clearly buckled. Merlin was holding him up as they started to move towards Eggsy. Merlin smiled happily at Eggsy, joy written all over his face. “Lad,” he said. “Eggsy, how have you been?”

Eggsy stared at him. It wasn’t his Merlin. This man, this casual clothes, and full salt and pepper beard. It wasn’t Merlin.

“Eggsy?” Harry could tell something was wrong.

“Hey, Merlin, some look you’ve got there,” Eggsy said. He took a photo and then ran away hard and fast, ignoring the way that Merlin and Harry called after him.


	2. Chapter 2

Eggsy ran until he found a nice quiet corner to hide in.

And to think.

He couldn’t understand why it bothered him so much, why seeing Merlin in different clothes and that beard caused this panicked freak out. And now they’d realize they didn’t need him after all. He’d be alone and it was all his fault.

Because he ran over a beard.

He needed to talk to someone. He grabbed his phone and facetimed Tilde. “Hey, babe,” he said when she appeared.

“Eggsy?” Tilde was frowning, shit he must look like a wreck. “Where are you?”

Eggsy looked around. “Uh..hiding among bourbon barrels?” He hung his head. “Babe, something’s all wrong.”

Tilde took her gaze off the phone. “Roxy! Eggsy’s all fucked up!” she called out.

Eggsy waited and less than a minute later Roxy crashed into view. “Right who am I killing?” She had her murder face on, which was enhanced these days by the scar that ran along her jaw line and the burn mark on her neck. “Outside threat? Harry? Merlin?”

“No one Rox,” Eggsy reassured. “We got to Kentucky. Harry and Merlin’s reunion went great.”

The two women exchanged looks. “We have a secret army, I am sending our best after those two for excluding you,” Tilde promised. “You might not think it but we have these 6 guys who are brutal.”

“I’ll murder them,” Roxy added.

“No,” Eggsy insisted. “I could have been in it. And it was great and all sorts of hot to see Harry lose all his chill, climb into a horse pen and pretty much tackle Merlin to snog him,” Eggsy paused, “or it would be if…”

“Eggsy,” Roxy is clearly trying to find the right words. “Is this about Merlin’s legs?” she finally just asked.

“What?” Eggsy made a face. “Don’t even know what they look like they were covered in jeans.”

Roxy blinked. “Merlin doesn’t wear jeans.”

Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you!”

“Yes he does,” Tilde said. “Or he did in -” She cut herself off.

“You did find their sex photos. And you didn’t share????” Eggsy was actually quite insulted he decided.

“No I didn’t. You didn’t share what was in the file marked “Tax Return Spreadsheet” now did you? Quid Quo Pro. You didn’t share your porn, so why would I share mine?” Tilde crossed her arms and looked quite regal for a woman in pajamas covered in ice cream cones.

“Fine,” Eggsy huffed. “Suppose they were all ruined in the fire anyways.”

Tilde whistled a bit.

“Babe, don’t you hold out on me,” Eggsy said. 

“He should get a peek too,” Roxy agreed.

“Rox has seen them!” Eggsy glared and then made sad puppy noises.

“Fine, I’ll send you the digital copies I made of the best ones,” Tilde agreed. “Just because I love you.”

“Love you too,” Eggsy said.

Roxy smiled and kissed Tilde’s cheek. “Yes we all love each other, but that isn’t the problem. Eggsy’s reaction to Merlin is. But jeans alone wouldn’t have done that.”

“I can’t even describe it,” Eggsy said. “But it isn’t him.” He tried to scrub a hand over his face and bumped his glasses. “Here Rox, incoming photo,” he said and tapped the side and did a few blinks.

He waited.

 

And waited.

 

And then waited a bit more.

 

When they were still silent he was sure he was vindicated. “See, it’s weird as fuck right? Like that isn’t Merlin, it’s some weird freaky mountain man who has a woman chained in a basement.”

“He could chain me in the basement,” Tilde whispered.

“I would never stop sitting on his face,” Roxy said reverently.

Eggsy’s brain flat out short circuited as it provided that mental image. For a moment it was arousing and then just horrifying. “Sick, Rox! No thinking about you being sexy. Ew.”

“Eggsy, what is so wrong about it?” Tilde asked. “He grew a beard, let his bit of hair grow out a little as well. You would have seen it as it happened.”

Eggsy shook his head. “But I didn’t. He wouldn’t facetime or nothing. This was all a surprise.”

“But you hate surprises,” Tilde said. “He didn’t know this?”

“Handle surprises fine on the job, no reason to think it would be different otherwise.” 

“This is different though,” Tilde insisted. “You don’t see his face for the whole time and see him with such a radical change, of course it is going to be a shock. I am very disappointed in him.”

“Eggsy?” Roxy held up a hand to Tilde to quiet the incoming rant. “Eggsy, sweetie, what is it?”

“Nothing,” Eggsy said quickly. “Just the shock of it all.”

“No, you don’t lie, not to us,” she said. “We can’t fix it if you lie.”

“Dean, had a guy in his crew, got sent away for 10. Real mean bastard. Had a beard like that,” Eggsy finally said. “Dean never hit me the first few years. Didn’t have to that guy got off on hidden punches and kicks.” Eggsy leaned his head against the wall. “He could cut with a knife so it hurt like fire and yet healed without leaving a fucking scar.”

“Does Merlin actually look like the man?”

“No,” Eggsy said after a bit. “It’s just the beard. He would come up behind me and whisper  _ boy, Dean says you need a reminder of your place _ . It was so scratchy and gross and he always had food in it.”

“Merlin would never call you boy,” Roxy pointed out.

“I know. It was just stupid instinct. The beard just made me go back and I ran and hid.” He smiled a little. “And called you two, because you always sort me out.”

“Ask him to shave, he will do it.” To Tilde it was easy.

“But he obviously likes his country look, and Harry super likes it. Can’t ruin their fun, not after everything they’ve been through.”

“And what ye have been through doesn’t count?” Merlin asked standing a little ways away.

“Busted,” Roxy said. “Good luck.”

Tilde blew kisses and they were gone.

Eggsy closed his eyes. He couldn’t look at Merlin. “Hey guv.”

“Eggsy.” There was a pause. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t sit on the ground. That far down and back up are still some work to do.”

“Shit. I didn’t even ask.”

“Harry didn’t either,” Merlin pointed out.

“Well hard to ask questions when your tongue is down someone’s throat.”

“True.” Merlin shifted a little. “I’m sorry Eggsy. I dinnae think it would affect you so. I would have warned you.”

“I’m really mad that you kept your face away from us for months,” Eggsy said. It was true and mixed in all the rest. “That your surprise mattered to you more than what I was actually needing. Which was your stupid face.”

“I’m so sorry,” Merlin said. “The first few weeks were because of the pain and exhaustion. To see me, you would have worried and come back.”

“Of course I would, I think I love you, you bastard.”

“Not those first few weeks. You were still with Tilde, and then you weren’t.”

“Technically I wasn’t, but I get you.” Eggsy sighed. “Always had so many feelings about you. Friendship, affection, frustration. It was easy for it all to snowball and turn into love.”

“I hold ye in the highest regard, Eggsy,” Merlin said earnestly.

Eggsy laughed. “Come on, you and me, we don’t talk like them.”

“True. I want you,” Merlin said. “I want you the way I want Harry. I want to fuck you, and hold your hand, and laugh with you, and fight with you. I want so many things of you. And would offer myself in return.”

“Yeah?”

“I heard something about ‘happy ever after shit’ and I can see the benefits of that.” Merlin moved forward and carefully and slowly knelt by Eggsy. “Eggsy. We want you. We need you.”

“I need you too. Needed you for so long Merlin. And I am scared to look at you.” Eggsy’s eyes were squeezed shut. “And the beard makes you happy. Makes Harry happy. I can’t ask you to shave.”

Merlin moved slowly again, knowing Eggsy would be able to figure out what was happening and could stop it. He brushed his lips against Eggsy’s forehead. He wondered if Merlin knew it was the spot Harry always kissed. There was then a kiss on his nose and each cheek. He sighed in contentment.

Merlin nuzzled his neck the same way he had Harry. “Eggsy. I want you.”

“I want you too,” he whined back.

Merlin nuzzled the other side. “Eggsy I need you.”

“Oh fuck, I need you too.”

“And if all it takes to have both men who hold my heart is a shave, I can live with that. Give Harry and I an hour and I will look how you like.” Merlin lay the gentlest of kisses against Eggsy mouth and then got himself upright with a bit of a struggle.

Eggsy listened to the footsteps fall away. The beard had been soft, Merlin’s lip dry. He had smelled like outdoors and a hint of the cologne that Merlin wore. He was a little hard at having Merlin that close.

He should be closer. Eggsy opened his eyes and Merlin was long gone.

To shave all that softness away.

Shit, it had felt so good against his neck. He wondered what it would feel like against his hips, his thighs, his ass.

And when it brushed against him, he hadn’t been swamped by memories, he had just been surrounded by Merlin.

Who was gone to shave. For Eggsy.

This time when Eggsy ran it wasn’t away.

It was to.


	3. Chapter 3

Eggsy ran through the halls as fast as he could careening off walls and scaring people in his wake. He made it to Merlin’s room and crashed through the door. “Stop!” he yelled but he had too much momentum and plowed straight into Harry who was able to toss the straight razor away so it wouldn’t damage either of them in the fall.

“Eggsy?” Merlin said from the chair. His beard was covered in foam and he was just in his pants, his prosthetics taken off. Eggsy stared at the legs. Merlin grew itchy under that gaze, thought Eggsy was horrified.

Eggsy sat himself up and kissed where each leg ended. “Fuck, Merlin, the lack of symmetry on how you got blown up must drive you crazy.” The one leg ended a bit below the knee, the other above.

“Eggsy!” Harry was appalled.

Merlin, however, laughed. “Aye, I complained about it a great deal during my therapy, would have been easier to learn to walk if they had been level.”

Eggsy leaned against the one leg. He also clued into something. “This was the room Harry stayed in. They had to have a nicer spot for you.”

“They did, but well -”

“Sentimental fool,” Harry said fondly. “Now Eggsy can you let us finish our task?”

“Really can’t,” Eggsy replied. He reached for the flannel on the sink ledge and began to wipe the foam off Merlin’s beard. It takes a while, probably because he was lingering over the task. He moved so that he was straddling Merlin’s lap as he finished the job. He tossed the towel behind him and cupped Merlin’s face. “Fuck, it’s so soft.” He moved his hands back to touch the crown of hair that Merlin had let grow in a little. “You look so different.”

“I am rather different these days,” Merlin replied. “But I can understand it is too much change.”

“Some change isn’t bad. The three of us is a big change yeah? And we’re going to make that work.” Eggsy squirmed on Merlin’s lap and hugged him tight. “We’re going to make this work.”

Merlin ran his hand up and down Eggsy’s back. “We will Eggsy. Right, Harry?”

Harry came over and kissed both their heads. “We will.”

“Roxy wants to sit on your face,” Eggsy blurted out.

Harry and Merlin were silent for a moment and Harry was the one who broke first and soon the two men were howling in laughter. Eggsy buried his face in Merlin’s neck. “Shut it,” he muttered.

Eventually the laughter ceased. “I will have to extend my regrets,” Merlin said eventually. “As any face sitting will only be done by the two of you.”

“Wait, what?” Eggsy’s eyes widened in shock and he pulled away from Merlin. “What?”

“Would ye like to fuck my face, Eggsy?” Merlin asked, his voice deep and thick.

Eggsy couldn’t think. “But I thought -” he quickly shut his mouth.

“Thought what, darling?” Harry asked. He stroked Eggsy’s hair. 

“Well, look at the two of you. Kind of figured uh…” Eggsy blushed a little and felt a fool for it. “Sort of thought...you would mostly be topping?”

“I’m vers,” Merlin said easily. “And Harry really really likes to be fucked hard. Though he would always top on special occasions like my birthday.”

Harry tilted Eggsy’s face up. “Darling, would you like to fuck me?”

“There’s no blood left in my head,” Eggsy said. “I...how do I think when bloody Harry Hart asks me to fuck him?”

“Ye don’t,” Merlin tilted his head and bit Eggsy’s ear. “You do as he says.”

“But what about you?” Eggsy asked. He ground his hips down, felt that Merlin was hard beneath him. “Harry said your cock was perfect.”

“He is kind.”

“He is right,” Harry said. “Now then the mission parameters are this. Eggsy will fuck me hard and I will suck Merlin off. This will allow Merlin to be comfortable.”

“I’m not an invalid Harry, I’m just missing a few inches.”

“No, I’ve seen the medical reports, you retained the vital inches.”

Eggsy choked on his spit. “Harry just made a dick joke.”

“He is nae a gentleman in bed,” Merlin said. He rubbed his beard along Eggsy’s neck and then bit his earlobe and sucked. He liked the moan that wrung out of Eggsy. “Oh we are going to have so much fun.”

Eggsy paused. “What sort of fun? Because I’m not that kinky yeah? And I sure as fuck ain’t calling either of you Daddy.”

Merlin snorted. “Wild for us is in a chair or with the lights on. We have...well had like three toys.”

“It’s true,” Harry promised. “We just want you.”

Eggsy rolled against Merlin a little bit more and then stood up. He stripped off his clothes. “Well, you got me.”

Harry moved behind Eggsy and kissed and bit at his neck and ran a hand up and down his chest. Eggsy tilted his head back.

“Oh I like the contrast, Merlin’s beard, your smooth cheek,” Eggsy said. “It’s fucking spectacular.”

“Spectacular is still to come. Like you will, inside me,” Harry said. He reached down and wrapped a hand around Eggsy’s cock. A few pulls and Eggsy was completely hard.

“That is a lovely sight,” Merlin said. “I will enjoy watching the two of ye so much.”

“I want to watch you two sometime as well,” Eggsy said. “Bet that’s glorious.”

“It is,” Harry said. “Get the lube from the drawer.” He stepped away from Eggsy and over to Merlin. He raised a brow and waited.

“Yes, alright,” Merlin said. He held up his arms and Harry grunted but managed to pick him up and carry him over to the bed. Harry settled him carefully, making sure that he had a couple pillows stacked under his head. Harry then settled on top of him. 

They both lay there, Merlin almost naked, Harry still in his trousers. They looked into each other’s eyes. “Now is when you’d be running your toes over my calves,” Harry whispered.

“I know,” Merlin replied. He put a hand on the back of Harry’s neck. “I know.”

“I don’t care,” Harry swore. “Because I have you. I don’t care.”

“I don’t care either,” Merlin promised and took the glasses of Harry. He pulled Harry into a deep kiss.

“Fuck that’s gorgeous,” Eggsy said beside the bed, holding some lube. “No condoms,” he said.

“We all have been tested and are clean. With our jobs, we will be tested a great deal, and have to use them sometimes, but today, we are fine,” Harry said after he broke the kiss with Merlin.

“Right, going to fuck Harry Hart bare, while he sucks Merlin off. I’m bloody dreaming,” Eggsy said softly, in awe.

“In this setting, ye can call me Hamish,” Merlin said looking at Eggsy.

“Bit too much change that,” Eggsy said. “Someday.”

“As you wish,” Merlin agreed. He then moaned when Harry bit a nipple. “Fuck Harry.”

“Eggsy, make a note,” Harry said. “My nipples not sensitive and I dislike them being played with. Hamish, however, incredibly sensitive.” He bit again to make the man squirm. He then licked and blew cold air over it and smiled wickedly as Merlin tried to both get away and move closer. He did it again and again.

Eggsy watched and stroked himself a little, it was the best thing he had ever seen watching the two of them.

Merlin looked at Eggsy. “A little help lad?”

Eggsy nodded and grabbed Harry’s belt and hauled him down a little. He reached under Harry in order to undo the trousers and slide them and his pants off. “Oh fuck look at your arse,” Eggsy said. He dropped onto the bed and bit Harry.

Harry cursed as he bucked at the sensation. Merlin smirked. “Payback is quite lovely.”  In response Harry stripped Merlin’s boxers off. 

“There, level playing field now,” Harry said.

Eggsy looked, “Okay that is a great dick,” he agreed.

“Isn’t it?” Harry replied and he nuzzled at Merlin’s hip. “I missed you. Even when I didn’t remember you, Hamish, I missed you so much.”

“Harry, dearest, that is a stupid thing to say,” Merlin said. He put his hand in Harry’s hair and tugged.

Harry bit his hip bone in retaliation. “It was supposed to be romantic.”

“Tell me what you feel right now,” Merlin said.

“Whole,” Harry answered. “Complete.”

“Now that is romantic. Ye two have healed the cracks in my heart,” Merlin replied.

Eggsy smiled softly. “I...you two...you’re just you. And that’s everything yeah?”

“It is,” Harry agreed. “Now be a good darling and work me open and fuck me.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Eggsy moved where he was a bit and slicked up a figure. He pressed against Harry’s hole and circled a bit before pushing in. “Harry?” 

“I may have done a little prep on the flight here, just before we landed,” Harry admitted. “It has been a very long time.”

Eggsy pushed his finger in steadily and reveled in the noises Harry made. He moved his finger in and out of Harry and then stopped.

“A gentleman is not cruel to his partners, Eggsy,” Harry said sternly.

“Exactly, so get back to making Merlin feel good. He’s been without just as long as you hasn’t he?” Eggsy pointed out.

“He has indeed,” Merlin agreed.

“Forgive me, Hamish,” Harry said and he wrapped his fingers around Merlin’s cock and licked at the tip. “I’m rather out of practice but will do my best to bring you pleasure.”

“Ye are off to a good start,” Merlin moaned as Harry’s tongue pressed firmly against the slit.

Eggsy began to move his finger again and soon enough added a second one. He watched as Harry slowly began to suck Merlin’s cock, taking the time to relearn the skill. Eggsy wanted a bit more connection so scooted forward a bit and rested his free hand against the end of Merlin’s left leg.

Merlin cursed a blue streak and Eggsy pulled his hand away in horror. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” Eggsy said. “Oh god, I…”

“Do not run,” Merlin ordered. “Ye did nothing wrong. The skin there is just a little sensitive. Ye are fine Eggsy, I promise.”

Eggsy moved his hand up a little and Merlin nodded. Eggsy let his breath slow and remembered that his other hand had fingers in Harry. He moved them about a bit and when Harry went rigid he figured he had found the man’s prostate. When he had three fingers in Harry he made sure to stroke that as much as possible. When he pressed firmly, Merlin once again was cursing.

“Harry, mind the fucking teeth,” Merlin roared.

Harry pulled off. “Well tell Eggsy to mind the fucking fingers then,” he snapped back. “This works better in pornography.”

Merlin snorted a bit. “Not like our first time together was perfect and magical, we’ll get this right eventually.” He cupped Harry’s cheek. “I love ye, Harry.” He looked up. “And ye as well, Eggsy.”

Eggsy pulled his fingers out of Harry and moved them both a bit. He guided himself and rolled his hips and slowly slid into Harry. “I fucking love you two, stupid.”

Harry let his head collapse against Merlin’s hip. “Oh you are much thicker than Merlin. This is going to be delightful.” He managed a small kitten lick against the side of Merlin’s dick. Eggsy put one hand on Harry’s hip and tried to put the other on Merlin’s leg. He couldn’t quite reach though, even the leg that was a bit longer was just out of reach without rucking Harry up horribly.

“You’ll touch me enough later, lad, just focus on Harry,” Merlin said. “It’s fine.”

Eggsy nodded and pulled back a little and then pushed in again. He set a steady rhythm and tried not to be overwhelmed by the view in front of him, laid out before him. 

Harry focused enough to begin sucking Merlin’s cock and Merlin knowing what Harry enjoyed tugged on the man’s hair and let a stream of filthy words, promises for future encounters spill from his lips.

It was also winding Eggsy up. “Jesus I could come just from your voice,” he groaned.

Merlin grinned and weaved stories together, thoughts about different positions, things he wanted to do to Eggsy, how he wanted to learn every spot on Eggsy, to figure out exactly how to touch and kiss and fuck the lad. How he and Harry would worship Eggsy, pull every drop of pleasure from him until Eggsy wept and begged for release.

Eggsy started to move faster and reached to touch Harry’s cock, which he still hadn’t properly seen. It felt good in his hand, average size but so hot. He touched the precome at the tip and stroked Harry again and again. Harry was making noise around Merlin’s cock, wanting to say something but not wanting to pull off of the man.

“He likes his balls squeezed a bit,” Merlin said, his voice deeper than Eggsy had ever heard it before. Eggsy moved his hand and squeezed and grinned when Harry’s body tightened around him. He would stroke Harry’s cock and then drop his hand to squeeze.

All three were getting close, pressure building up in their spines. Eggsy rolled his hips slightly differently and the angle change was enough to have Harry pull off of Merlin’s cock so that he could curse and not bite the man he loved. Less than a minute later he came over Eggsy’s hand. Harry’s orgasm tipped off Eggsy’s who swore a streak as he pumped into Harry. 

Merlin stroked himself hard watching the two of them, and Harry managed to get enough breath to add his hand in and Merlin lifted his hips off the bed as he came.

Eggsy was the one who managed to get up and stumbled to the sink and grabbed a fresh flannel. He cleaned up Harry and Merlin first and then himself. When he returned to the bed Harry was snuggled up against Merlin’s side and pretty much purring as Merlin stroked his hair.

“It’s a small bed, but we can all fit lad, the lack of full legs makes enough extra room,” Merlin joked.

“This going to be a thing? His missing eye, your legs?” Eggsy asked. He lay down on the bed and curled against Merlin’s other side.

“Ye are missing your tonsils, so you well fit with us,” Merlin answered.

“Do I?” Eggsy wondered.

Harry moved the hand that was on Merlin’s heart to hold Eggsy’s. “You certainly fit well in me.”

“Thanks, Harry,” Eggsy rolled his eyes. He squeezed the man’s hand and let go. He reached up and touched Merlin’s beard. “Keep this for a while, yeah?”

“Are ye sure?” Merlin asked.

“I am,” Eggsy promised. “I like it. Hamish.”

Merlin smile and kissed his head. “I promise ye fit perfectly here.”

“Perfectly,” Harry agreed. “Now we engage in a post-coital nap.”

“Sorry bruv, I’m always kinda hungry after sex?”

“Fine then, cuddle until I am asleep and go find a fridge to raid.” Harry yawned. “Youth.”

“Ye needed a post sex nap even when you were young, Harry. Cocked more than one mission up,” Merlin pointed out, but Harry was already snoring, his ability to fall asleep instantly legendary. “Go find your snack,” Merlin said to Eggsy.

“It can wait a moment,” Eggsy said, realizing that this perfect cuddle mattered more than a handful of crisps. Eventually though he got up and went to find food.

Tequila was eating a sandwich and reading some reports. He looked up when he saw Eggsy and grinned. “So final verdict?”

“The beard is staying.”

“Lots of folks here will be relieved,” Tequila said. “Had a good time?”

“You have no idea,” Eggsy felt smug.

“Bet I can get an idea real quick. Cameras on the room after all.” Tequila stood up. “Whiskey has the access codes. I should check on that.” He feinted and ran past Eggsy.

“You bastard,” Eggsy roared and gave chase.

When they made it Whiskey she assured Eggsy that the video had been destroyed without anyone seeing it. 

Three days after the three Kingsman returned to England she got an email from Merlin.

_ I know damn well you didn’t destroy the video. You may feel free to watch whenever you like. We owe you so much, we consider it a small gift to you. And we also want a copy. _

_ Visit soon _ .

Hamish

 

Whiskey smiled to herself and picked up her phone. “Agent Tequila, I have received some vital mission intel that I could use your help...analyzing. In my private quarters.”

“Understood ma’am, ETA 20 minutes.”

“Fifteen or no orgasm for you,” she said and hung up.

It would be rude to refuse a gift after all, Manners Maketh Woman.

And that beard was really fucking sexy on Merlin. Maybe she’d make Tequila grow one.

 

In London, Eggsy was learning just how good it felt against his thighs. Merlin was never shaving again. 


End file.
